November 2008
1 post
I was dying of an incurable disease, but had spirt and time left. I was in the attendance of a family friend’s party. His house was popular for gathering, he owned an indoor pool. Eavesdropping on the guests, I learned that this man, Brian, stored a well-guarded safe in his house, and that in this safe was a document explaining the truth behind life.
I spied relentlessly on him for weeks; I...
February 2008
2 posts
A group of friends and I headed out for dinner. I told them to get seated, while I handled paying for parking. Since the restaurant was near a hospital, the two businesses had a deal that they would share parking resources. The hospital managed the resource, so I headed into the ER waiting room to pay for the parking. The woman behind the greeting station asked me for $3.75. I’m notorious...
My flat-mate & I played a game of “shoot each other with real guns” amidst a massive formal political dinner party. He had the power to teleport through walls, I could turn invisible. This made it impossibly difficult to ever locate the one another. We conceded the activity out of boredom. On our way out, we passed Dick Cheney where I made a quip about the game, that we were...
January 2008
10 posts
I was on the second story of two story parking garage attached to an incredibly busy mall. I wanted to thank my friend Paul for directing me towards my car, so I called his number in my cell-phone. Instead, my friend Alexia picked up. She sounded groggy, and explained it was 9:30AM her time. I apologized, and asked if she had Paul’s number, she sheepishly chuckled and confessed she had hoped...
Without appointment, I stopped by a Venture Capital firm that occupied an old brick school building. While I was waiting to talk with the VC’s, I challenged Tom Cruise to arm wrestling. I won three out of three rounds, claiming $4000 dollars in betting money. Next, a VC challenged him to the tune of 1 million dollars, and won. Tom Cruise could not keep himself from betting and losing, and...
A group of friends and I were beaching on a hot & arid day. The waves were abnormally large, and the shore always seemed to stay dry no mater how many times the waves washed over it. One of the girls liked to water ski. She swam out, leaving me the length of the rope. When she was far enough, I pulled hard on the rope, and dragged it with enough strength to propel her up onto the top of the...
I met in person several important business people. Each could fly a jet, and twitter at the same time. Presidential candidates dropped out of the race.
A group of friends and I were in LA, driving to a mall where we were going to see a concert. The all female heavy-metal band “Kitty” was performing. All of LA’s highways and parking lots were full of massive rubble piles the car had to swerve around. When we finally arrived at the mall, and parked, we traveled across a massive green field, with grass as high as our knees. One of...
I traveled to the distant future, where the world had been devastated by an extra-terrestrial attack. They had found us because pop music was being broadcast by radio into space. The future-us needed to prevent broadcast radio, and despite having time-travel, could not figure out where in the past they could easily make a single “cut” to stop radio from occurring. They agreed they...
My family and I were consulting for a project consisting of various media and technology (in reality, my brother plays guitar extremely well, my mother & father are both interior designers graduated from Pratt, I’m the coder). We had met the client, and assembled a larger group of about 10 people to work with us on the project. I finished the technical piece early, so I could return to...
I wondered if it would be possible to date a minor internet celebrity, and so Julia Allison & I began dating. It was clear from the start that very few of our interests aligned, and that while I was interested in the challenge for the challenges sake, we were not a very good match at all. Conversation was always strained. Still, for some reason we both continued to date (casually). At some...
In my childhood home, I was aware of the presence of four ethereal demons: One a dog-sized gryphon, one a floating brain, and two of a more gaseous form. Each of them could appear and disappear at will. They were lurking through the house, searching for me, waiting to kill me. Running to protect myself, I found my brother as a six year old. I picked him up and ran from the teleporting monsters. I...
Walking down my childhood street, I stopped abruptly when I saw a mother elephant walking down the sidewalk with her baby elephant. They too stopped abruptly when we then saw a mutant-elephant mother/daughter pair doing the same. The faux elephants had trunks protruding from the top of their skulls and moved with a hiccuping gait. The almost-elephants crossed the street with ease, something the...