Dreamr

A group of friends and I headed out for dinner. I told them to get seated, while I handled paying for parking. Since the restaurant was near a hospital, the two businesses had a deal that they would share parking resources. The hospital managed the resource, so I headed into the ER waiting room to pay for the parking. The woman behind the greeting station asked me for $3.75. I’m notorious for not carrying enough cash, however, I happened to have a few dollars with change in my pocket, totaling $3.65. I tried to hand her the mass of bills & coins in hopes it was close enough, and began walking back to the restaurant. The woman, however, was a very quick counter and called out to me that I owed them ten cents. I explained that I did not have ten cents, but after dinner was concluded, I would likely have more change, and would return with the ten cents (In fact, I would have to return anyway before I could drive away). She would not accept this, and forced me to stay until she was done filing the rest of her work. A yelling match followed where I explained that this was a gross waste of hospital resources. That by keeping me, and engaging me in argument, they were depriving people in real need of medical attention. She would not back down. Eventually, I found massive silver dollar on the floor, and tossed it at her flippantly, and left for dinner. 

My flat-mate & I played a game of “shoot each other with real guns” amidst a massive formal political dinner party. He had the power to teleport through walls, I could turn invisible. This made it impossibly difficult to ever locate the one another. We conceded the activity out of boredom. On our way out, we passed Dick Cheney where I made a quip about the game, that we were “exiting with intelligence over staying with power”

Later, I found myself in a convention center inside the Arsenal Mall. The convention center was just one room in a massive inside complex that was the worlds biggest comic book and toy store. I purchased a new electronic construction toy to the dismay of my girlfriend, and the detriment of my wallet.

Later still, a cyclops threatened to slice open my calves with a hooked knife so as to fix my leg’s musculature. Thankfully, I’m awake now.

I was on the second story of two story parking garage attached to an incredibly busy mall. I wanted to thank my friend Paul for directing me towards my car, so I called his number in my cell-phone. Instead, my friend Alexia picked up. She sounded groggy, and explained it was 9:30AM her time. I apologized, and asked if she had Paul’s number, she sheepishly chuckled and confessed she had hoped to get the number from me at some point as she no longer had it. (In this world, they had once dated)

I made my way to my car which was up on a pedestal getting repairs. While I waited, I noticed that a second set of mechanics were trapping and chaining an odd breed of hyena. They had the same overall body size, covered in brown fur, but very thin and long necks, with much smaller heads. 

 The mechanics led the captured hyenas up to the edge of a metal platform, slowly lowered the beasts heads on to the metal, and in single smooth motion, decapitated them by pressing a margarita glass to the nape of their necks.

They then scooped out a small, cold brain that reminded me angel-hair noodles. The mechanics called this treat “orzo”, and ate the brain with a spoon from the same margarita glass they had used to extract it. I asked them if they were concerned about eating raw brains because of encephalitis. They were not sure what I meant.

Without appointment, I stopped by a Venture Capital firm that occupied an old brick school building. 

While I was waiting to talk with the VC’s, I challenged Tom Cruise to arm wrestling. I won three out of three rounds, claiming $4000 dollars in betting money. Next, a VC challenged him to the tune of 1 million dollars, and won. Tom Cruise could not keep himself from betting and losing, and eventually stormed off in a huff.

While I continued to wait, I wandered to a different section of the building where an older chinese woman had rented out a 15ftx15ft space. She wanted to convert it into a sales-room where she would sell racing lessons. The room was messy and cramped, and had no less than three full sized desks in it. She offered to pay me to clean it up. Instead I gave her some unsolicited design advice, and left before I was stuck with such a laborious task.

I found myself outside in the woods. I was aware of a new reality show that was about to premiere that night. The show was about woodland giants. As I wandered through the woods, I spotted one of these giant’s toes (it looked like a tree trunk, and was covered in bark). The toe was completely motionless, and I felt like I had uncovered a secret since the show had not premiered yet. I dug my way toward the toe and grabbed onto it. The giant sprang to life and began burrowing deep into the ground, swimming through dirt as though it were water. I held on tight, I knew if I let go I would drown in soil and die. Maybe I did, because everything went black, and when I finally came-to I was in the middle of the forest again.

I made my way back to the VC office where I interrupted a massive meeting of all their portfolio companies. One of the venture partners invited me to stay and participate and offer my insight. I felt awkward and as though that would be inappropriate, and said I would come back some other time. 

A group of friends and I were beaching on a hot & arid day. The waves were abnormally large, and the shore always seemed to stay dry no mater how many times the waves washed over it.

One of the girls liked to water ski. She swam out, leaving me the length of the rope. When she was far enough, I pulled hard on the rope, and dragged it with enough strength to propel her up onto the top of the water, and skimming toward the shore. I myself boogie boarded back.

 I went upstairs into the beach lodge to dry off. The waves were picking up in size and speed. I found two men watching the waves from behind semi-broken windows on the second floor. I asked them if the water had broke that glass, and they said yes. Just then a three story wave, made of oversized Dorito chip, slammed into the side of the building shattering even more glass. I left quickly.

 I went looking for the facilities, and found an enormous bathroom in the basement of a mill building. I laid claim to the room, but before I needed my privacy two lost individuals were looking for more facilities, and said that they did not know how to use a bathroom. I challenged this, it seemed absurd. They remained truly ignorant. I sent them off to find the next bathroom, and described in broad terms the process. They thanked me and left.

Before I settled in, I was interrupted by a historical tour. Two of the tourists were former high school friends of mine. One had gone on to be a book publisher, the other an author whose first book was “It’s a how you use a computer, dummy”

I met in person several important business people. Each could fly a jet, and twitter at the same time. Presidential candidates dropped out of the race. 

A group of friends and I were in LA, driving to a mall where we were going to see a concert. The all female heavy-metal band “Kitty” was performing.

All of LA’s highways and parking lots were full of massive rubble piles the car had to swerve around. When we finally arrived at the mall, and parked, we traveled across a massive green field, with grass as high as our knees. One of the concert-goers had brought his pet wolf with him, and it bounded ahead as we talked abut the ins-and-outs of getting accepted into various higher education programs.

At the end of the field, we entered the concert hall. My t-shirt was torn and covered in green, so I removed it. A girl in the hall commented that I had nice shoulders, giving my ego and my desire to workout a boost.

Colin, Ben & I went to get refreshments from a Dunkin Donuts station before the concert started. I ordered an iced coffee. Unfortunately the man servicing the register was incompetent at his post. Ben had to show him how the electronic ordering machine worked. Once he finally figured out how to accept payment, he tore in half some of the bills that I would have received as change. 

Colin noticed a stack of DVDs on the Dunkin Donuts counter and inquired about placing his own media for distribution there. The man knew nothing about how that process worked.

 The group headed off to watch the concert, but I stayed behind. I was suddenly aware that I was in position of a small, 30 page book. The book had LED lights interwoven into the fabric of the pages. The lights blinked intermittently and I assumed there was meaning in the pattern. I discovered quite by accident that whoever held the book was able to pass through walls. This made the book very sought after, and I jumped through many walls in order to maintain possession of it. This caused me to not only miss the concert, but a movie my friend Greg went to see afterwards.

I traveled to the distant future, where the world had been devastated by an extra-terrestrial attack. They had found us because pop music was being broadcast by radio into space. The future-us needed to prevent broadcast radio, and despite having time-travel, could not figure out where in the past they could easily make a single “cut” to stop radio from occurring. They agreed they needed something more epic & systematic if they were ever going to prevent it. They sent one of their best men back as far as they could go where he would establish a school of thought that would prove both helpful to the people of the time, and ultimately prevent the future attack. That man ended up being Jesus.

My family and I were consulting for a project consisting of various media and technology (in reality, my brother plays guitar extremely well, my mother & father are both interior designers graduated from Pratt, I’m the coder). We had met the client, and assembled a larger group of about 10 people to work with us on the project. I finished the technical piece early, so I could return to my day job.

What was likely several days later, I returned for the celebratory dinner at a restaurant, where we sat down, and I indulged in my favorite drink, a goose ‘n tonic. I began to review the 12 or so new pieces to the project and noticed major and glaring holes. “Who was project manager?” I asked, but none had been elected. I began to explain via analogy why someone needs to be a project manager, otherwise massive holes appear. My analogy was: “Even the most beautiful woman’s skin under scrutiny exhibits blemishes.” 

I wondered if it would be possible to date a minor internet celebrity, and so Julia Allison & I began dating. It was clear from the start that very few of our interests aligned, and that while I was interested in the challenge for the challenges sake, we were not a very good match at all. Conversation was always strained. Still, for some reason we both continued to date (casually).

 At some point, we were forced into taking standardized testing. The test consisted of four essays. Julia completed all four and was awarded high marks. I thought I had completed all four, but was only awarded points for two essays, which effectively failed me.  Only later had I discovered that one of the other test takers, who was mentally challenged and immoral, had signed his name to the top of my tests. After a lengthy argument, I convinced the test giver, who finally attributed the work to me. I presented my modified score to Julia, but she was already convinced I was intellectually inferior. Still, for some reason, our casual dating continued.

 We traveled together to a condo I owned on an island. The condo was clearly beyond my means. I caught Julia on the phone with her management, and discovered that the reason she ‘pushing’ through our awkward dating was that she was undercover and working a story about illegal ownership of property on the island. It seemed I had the connection that would begin her journey to the top. I offered to help her see this through.